so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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