Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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