Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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