You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
