he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
