I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
