im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
