Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
