your thong is hanging out like whoa
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hippo gnu deer
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
