I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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