win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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