Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
