btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
