I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
