Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
