if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
