I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I have post one night stand depression
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