no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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