Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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