hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
where are my eyebrows?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
