Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I FOUND THE LEGS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
