I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
