apparently the secret to your success is patron
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
