she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
