Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
