Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
