You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
