I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
