Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
