so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
