I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
