lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
