OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
