Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Please don't give away my fajitas
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