Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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