Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
