I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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