he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
