Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
