omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
