you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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