I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
