You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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