Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
