now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
