On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
