yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
this beer tastes like vomit already
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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