Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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