i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
