The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
