singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
ok first of all what the fuck
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
