You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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